Pilates Faux-Pas?

I LOVE yoga and pilates.  I get way into the "zen" thing and work on my breathing and relaxation in class.  I especially love it after a stressful day or week at work.  Yoga makes me feel calm and helps clear my  head.  Last week, I worked four 12's in a row and could not WAIT to go to class.  Well, yoga sure failed me this week.

I really appreciate and admire the men who come to class and put in the effort.  Yoga is hard for men as they are less flexible and not used to contorting their bodies into certain positions.  Some men, certainly are not made for yoga.  It never fails that there is some "big burly guy" in class who cannot even get his hands down to his shins let alone touch the floor.  Again, I admire that man in class because at least he is trying.  HOWEVER, when I have had a long week of work and want to relax and stretch in my yoga class I do not admire or appreciate "the big burly man" who cannot touch his toes because inevitably some gas will be passed by said man.

For example, last week, I'm in class slowly reaching a "zen like" mentality.  We're about halfway through class and about to move into downward facing dog from the cobra pose.  Quickly, cobra is lying on your belly and lifting your upper half and arching back.  You then lower and put your ass up in the air for downward facing dog (please google the poses if you want a visual. It's good).  Anyway, I'm facedown after coming out of cobra and pushing up to downward facing dog when the "big burly man" two people down FARTS!  Now, people fart sort of frequently in yoga.  But usally it's a little pff...  This guy, however, truly farted out loud for at least the back half of the room to hear.  Not only does he fart, but he also goes "ope, sorry!" My immaturity does not allow me to not laugh. In fact, I laugh so hard I have to come down out of the pose because my arms are giving out on me.  I don't know if it was the stress of the week that made me crack a little or the the impeccable timing of farting while forcing your ass up into the air that got me.  Either way, it was a good 2 minutes before I could control myself.  Laughing in yoga is like laughing in church.  You're not supposed to do it, so it makes it harder to stop.  My "zen like state" was ruined but it still makes me laugh when I think about it.  The embarrassment of that man must of been tremendous.

NOW ONTO THE GOOD ONE:

I'm in the pilates/yoga fusion class because it's the only one I can make it to after work.  I'd rather go to only straight yoga but I have to make compromises due to my schedule.  Yoga/pilates is usually all women and that day it was as well.  I pick up my mat and choose to sit next to two women who appear to have been here before because they are stretching and their flexibility looks good.  They are both probably in their thirties.  Again, we are moving through class and I'm happily thinking that the class was just what I needed after the hellish day at work.  I'm also getting excited because we are moving onto crow pose and I have not been able to balance in it yet.  Crow pose is where you place your calves on your elbows and balance on your wrists and arms in somewhat of a tripod.  Previously, I have not been able to hold it.  Today, however, I get in crow pose and am able to hold it.  As I am silently congratulating myself in my head, I notice that the woman one person away from me is also doing great in the pose (it's quite natural to check out other peoples moves in yoga and pilates.  It's one big competition between females if you ask me).  Anyway, her friend who is next to me, states something like, "I'm so impressed you can do that so easily. I'm not even close..."  AND THEN the women in crow pose tips forward a little bit and HER FAKE BOOB FALLS OUT OF HER WORKOUT TOPS AND ROLLS AWAY FROM HER!!!  The women, shocked, says "oh shit" and gets out of the pose and has to crawl a little to retrieve the fake boob and then hides it under her towel!  Thank god we were in the first row or it would have rolled into the row in front of us.  Naturally, I about die laughing.  This is even better than the fart.  I can't even attempt to move into any pose because I can't calm myself down.  The two women friends are also laughing uncontrollably but silently.  The three of us up there look like we were having some kind of convulsions because laughing really hard but silently makes your whole body shake.  It was absolutely top-notch the funniest thing.  I had tears running down my face so hard that my nose also started to run.  While this is all very funny, and I am super excited I got to witness it, I can't help but wonder.....  who in their right mind wears fake boob cutlets in their sports bra to work out?!  I cannot imagine having silicone and rubber up against me while working out.  No wonder it slipped out!  I'm sure the things start a slippin' and sliden' once you get sweaty.  I wonder if she's ever looked up in the mirror to see her "boobs" have shifted around and no longer make sense?  She must have a major insecurity when it comes to her chest so in a way I do feel bad, but in no way to do I feel bad enough that I didn't tell everyone who would listen about it and am writing it on here.  Oops...  Good times at the glamour gym.