My Work Out Rules... Though Harsh: Absolutely True!

I just got back from running at Rails n' Trails Park in Bloomington and there are a few things that consistently bother me.

First and foremost is the man who bikes shirtless with white curly chest hair a-blazin' in CUT OFF WAY TOO SHORT JEAN SHORTS. Cut offs are meant for those women I am insanely jealous of that have killer thin toned legs. Not for the overweight man huffing and puffing on a bike. I can't even imagine the chaffing!

Second: There are loads of people out there that walk with their pets. I get this and often I think it's cute. Sometimes my ass will start a runnin' faster when an attractive male with his golden retriever are about to trot by (the counterpart of this being an attractive male with a teeny tiny dog like a chihuahua. I chalk these boys up to walking their girlfriends dogs or as put by Carrie Bradshaw (Season 5-Episode 2:Unoriginal Sin) "Can't handle a real dog can't handle a real woman." I, however, am not entertained by those people who allow their pets to wander on the trail across from them leaving the leash as an invisible clothesline for me to contemplate and panic about. If I'm running it is slightly less daunting but as it is I am a klutz. The thought of me jumping over the leash at the right height and speed has me in hysterics. I don't fancy a broken arm from it and I can just imagine the entertainment others would get from the tale. When I'm on my rollerblades the fear is even worse. I am still horrible at stopping. In fact, I have never managed to be able to come to a complete stop. One time I did mean to turn in a semi-circle in order to stop but I was going to quick and I spun in two little tight circles. I felt like Nancy Kerrigan or something until I was so dizzy I had to sit before moving on. Anyway, I'm just saying that people with pets should have a little consideration for others. Especially those who are leisurely walking through that park. I think people who look like they are trying to get a serious work out should have the right away. Also, tonight, I was sitting on a bench attempting to catch my breath when this little fuzzy thing of a dog on a leash but a bit away from its owner came up to me. I must of gave it a dirty look because its owner gave me one right back and under her breath said, "wow.. bitch.." Seriously? It's known that I'm not the greatest fan of dogs but I had just got done running 2.29 miles. My face was so red it was maroon and I was sucking in air like I hadn't had any oxygen for days. No, I don't want to pet your dog!

Third: Like the leashes I work out in fear of the families walking, biking, skating together. Especially the families with little ones. This is going to make me sound evil but I can't help but get frustrated by the little kids who have not yet mastered their wheeled transportation devices. It causes them to ride erratically in "s" curves all over the path. I get panicky when I'm coming up to them and trying to judge which direction they are going to go in next. A few times I have judged wrong and in order to miss the unaware small child I have flown into the grass with my arms flying wildly and a few of those times I have wiped out. None of which have the parents apologized for their children. I'm sporting a nice scab on my right forearm right now from such an occasion. A lot of parents are really great and will tell their children to move aside so I can pass and I am extremely grateful and I usually even say thanks and smile. A little consideration. That's all I'm asking for.

Fourth: For me this is common sense but in my studies has proven not to be for many others. You should always be aware of other people working out, walking, jogging, biking, whatever around you. I get extremely annoyed when I'm jogging or skating along and I come up to a group of people who are blocking the path and are completely unaware that I am behind them. If you are walking in a line across the path please have enough consideration to pay attention and move aside for others to pass through. I do it for others. If I'm going at a slower pace from someone and I see them coming I move aside so they can have the inside track. It is the reasonable thing to do. I can't really stop on my skates so I always fear I'm going to end up taking someone out. It's a legitimate fear. I can't stop. I can imagine the ridicule I'd get.

Fifth: If you are gabbing wildly on your cell phone talking to someone about how you are working out while you are working out, you are NOT working out! Being able to hold a whole conversation complete with complex sentences with few breathers in between means you are no where near an aerobic level. This is most basic test everyone should know if they are wondering if they are working out hard enough. You should be able to talk in short sporadic sentences but should not be able to hold a conversation. Please spare me the annoyance of having to go around you and go home and facebook. These types of people are really high on my list of central annoyances during the winter season of working out at the gym on campus. Decent treadmill time is hard to come by and when one is being used by someone who is talking or texting on their cell phone really fires me up. It's really irritating and I know I'm not the only one who thinks so.

Sixth: The glamourites at the glamour gym. By my definition a glamourite is either: a male who goes to the gym in a a t-shirt with the sleeves torn off so literally more skin is showing than shirt who does a few reps but then mostly does one of two things: stares at all the asses of the females on treadmills or flexes in the mirror while making "yea, man, I'm ripped" faces at himself. The female glamourite is a girl who comes to the gym in full make-up, the shortest shorts possible, and a teeny tiny tank top. They will bounce around on an elliptical for awhile and never break a sweat. They in turn stare around at the male glamourites giggling or gossip with their friends on a nearby treadmill or elliptical while simultaneously texting on their phones. They do exist. I work at the gym and us workers get a good kick laughing at these people and it's not only a few people. They are loads of them!

That's all for now. I plan on working out again tomorrow so I may come up with some new ones!